Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize