My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
