OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Oh god it's open bar.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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