garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just took my morning after pill in the library
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize