my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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