It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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