I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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