I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
