I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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