So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
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He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
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It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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