when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Randomize