well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
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If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
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just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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