Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
