i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
