oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
