i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize