Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I am one with the molecules
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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