that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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