Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
