i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
