i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
