You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
