There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
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The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
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Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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