were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
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