So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
