who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Come share oat with me in your robe
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
