dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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