I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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