brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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