so that wasnt chicken after all
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
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where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
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I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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