I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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