come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
