it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
