oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
