If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize