I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
