Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
