Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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