I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
