So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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