he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
