Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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