Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
