where am i from again
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
