you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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