Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
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she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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