she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
