moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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