it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
