Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He passed out mid-signature
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
