So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
