He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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