It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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