why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
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I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
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Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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