im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
