Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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