Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
