The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
