I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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