she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
